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Flash Response, 1-13: Dance or Live
"I am... looking at my life, the passion I have had for this form and doubting everything about it."

A Letter from Sarah Michelson
Photography by Jamie Phillips

Dear Paul,

About your article.... I would love to get set up with a dentist when I am next over and as for the rest I am telling the truth....

I am so so so lucky, truly one of the lucky ones.... There is no doubt about that. The fact remains that I am 40 years old and live in no space with all my costumes and sets and have to climb over the bed to get to the bathroom. It has never felt not worth it until now... but for some reason this year I am exhausted. I wish I could fix my teeth, have someone stay over without climbing over them to pee. (Try it with a broken foot or busted calf.) Play the accordion if you are good at it! Could be that I am whining, self-indulgent, smug, ungrateful.... Could be I am a weakling and just not cut out for it.... Could be that dance even when you are one of the lucky ones who gets to be commissioned and travel the world takes a heavy toll in ways that are subtle and that my tiny apartment is one way I feel that I have made a choice in my life that is not supporting me.... You could have me stay over in Paris it sounds like.

I am really, I suppose, looking at my life, the passion I have had for this form and doubting everything about it. You can doubt my integrity or fortitude because of that if it serves you, but it is actually how it is for me right now.
Sarah Michelson. Dance Insider photograph by Jamie Phillips and copyright 2005 Jamie Phillips. Used by permission of the photographer.

Just for the record I have not yet received European compensation that has fully covered the tour of "Shadowmann" apart from in one venue.The work is actually too unwieldy for the structures that exist, and so even with its rough qualities it is expensive to tour, and as I was told by one European presenter, "For that amount of money we can get someone people really want to see."

Sincerely,

Sarah


Sarah Michelson's "Daylight" will be performed at P.S. 122 from January 17 through January 22, with show-times through January 19 at 8 p.m., and January 20 - 22 at 7 & 9 p.m.


Thinking of calling it quits? Finding reasons to carry on? E-mail your story to paul@danceinsider.com.

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