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Flash News, 4-1: Pity the Fool
DTW Names Kourlas New Exec. Director

By I.B. Fu-Lin
Copyright 2007 The Dance Insider

NEW YORK -- In a stunning move that turns the standard theater-critic paradigm on its head, Dance Theater Workshop has named New York Times freelancer Gia Kourlas its new executive director, the Dance Insider has learned. "She's tried to level our institution at least twice in the last few years," said DTW board president I.B. Proscenium, "so we figured the best way to stop the madness was just to co-opt her."

Explaining why Kourlas would want to change sides, a deep dance insider said that "actually, Gia misunderstood the job title. She thought they meant 'executing' director, and since she's been trying to execute DTW in one way or another in recent years, it just made sense to give her a proper job title." The source could not confirm rumors that as one of Kourlas's conditions for taking the job, DTW had agreed that every employee must address her as "Mon general."

In response to the Kourlas hiring, all the artists scheduled to perform at DTW for the rest of the season promptly resigned to move to Connecticut and/or take jobs in the more profitable sector of the non-profit sector. Asked how this surprise move would affect his upcoming "Nothing Festival," curator Tere O'Connor, rubbing his hands together in glee, said, "Perfectly."


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